The bombshell yesterday
So that hot little minx Theresa May is wanting to rise the price of cheap alcohol eh? **Unscrews cap off breakfast bottle** Well first of all, good because my dears good alcohol shouldn't be cheap. But I have a question for Theresa: if this like you say is an effort to cut 'antisocial drinking' then golly by gosh what about the folks (like Socrates Drunk) who would imbibe even it was £20 a bottle? What then darling? My point is, its not a money problem, its a social and psychological one. Geddit? Well you should because yer doing it wrong ye over embalmed scurge of mushrooms!
As with most things, education is the key to salvation. That and you need to teach the young 'uns how to respect alcohol like those French do. Let them have a glass or two of wine with sunday tiffin, don't allow the booze to become taboo. Tabooze! Do this and you will instantly take away the 'naughtiness' aspect that is so alluring to children.
Ye will not change the ways of veteran booze hounds, I'll tell ye that for nowt! We will always find a way whether its cutting out other essentials, making potent homebrew or buying off the shady markets. I would never condone or buy illegal hooch but by hoiking up the prices, all the government will do is force others down this route. S'true like horny teens around the barmaids hemline.
The drinking masses will not be put off by mere price hikes. Take this boozers word on that. Tally ho! Cin Cin!!
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